JacobSanford.com

In honor of the harvest…

Oh Dear Reader, I know! I have been remiss in posting on a regular basis. I apologize, and assure you that this will not happen again for AT LEAST another week.

In the meantime, I have dumped to youtube one of the videos we took on our Boston trip in July.

Cheerio(s).

Pat Tilley, my kindergarden teacher used to tell us that sharing was the key to friendship. So, friend, here are a baker’s dozen of facts about myself that you may or may not know:

• I use an unhealthy amount of commas when I write, which is trumped only by the number of ‘quotes’ I employ or my overuse of entire-word capitalization for emphasis.
• I keep a serrated folding knife and wooden stick under my bed… just in case.
• I love quoting song lyrics to people, but I secretly wish that, instead of lyrics, I could quote melodies.
• I despise when small sums of money changes hands between friends, unless gambling is involved. Then, it’s great fun.
• I have four extremely powerful (yet irrational) fears: flying, the sun, heights, and eating chocolate (I have not knowingly eaten chocolate in 11 years).
• Since childhood, I have fallen while walking UP stairs on a regular basis.
• Coffee fuels my life. I own two coffee-bean grinders, four coffee brewing devices, and an automatic espresso machine - but my father drinks neither coffee or tea.
• I strongly dislike the band ‘Rush’ (yet secretly believe that by removing Geddy Lee as their front-man, they could become a fantastic group).
• ‘Ribbon’ type bumper stickers (ESPECIALLY ‘Support Our Troops’ ones) absolutely enrage me.
• I believe automatic transmissions take away the pleasure in driving. Largest vehicle I’ve ever driven? A 300,000 barrel Oil Tanker.
• The three top places in this world I wish I could live are , in order : Las Vegas, Montreal, and the Florida Keys.
• I idolize both Jim Rockford and Thomas Magnum, however, I do not lust to drive either of their cars.
• I have never really LIKED soda, but I drink it often. Favorite alcoholic drink? Gin and tonic. Drinks I dislike? Rum and coke, blush/sweet wines, Irish cream.

Whew. That was cathardic.

The idea of romance is a strange and multi-faceted concept. After all, everyone has their own idea of a romantic situation - candlelit dinners, a marriage proposal at the Red Sox game, or even eating four dozen Taco Bell chalupas.

And who is Jacob Sanford to judge those things? Honestly, those Chalupas are pretty damn tasty.

That having been said, one of the most romantic concepts to me in this life is the thought of space travel. Looking at Earth from the surface of the Moon qualifies as one of those moments that most people spend their entire life chasing and never actually catch.

I mean, honestly.

Honestly.

In the end, your life could have been wrought with drama - four wives, alcoholism, criminal record, bankruptcy, struggle with drug abuse, whatever. But when you’re lying on your deathbed, about to finally end your trip out of this life, YOU HAVE BEEN TO THE MOON.

And sure, there are unlimited ways to be unique and be remembered. Getting a high score in Pac-Man, winning the Tour de France without drugs, having over a Hundred cats living in your apartment.

But going to space? Walking on another celestial body?{add explicit adjective here} awesome.

So… the point of all this ranting?

I would like to officially announce that I am have opened up my schedule to be available as a candidate for an astronaut in the 2018 moon mission. I drink too much booze, love cooking meals that would never be available in space and am terrifically afraid of heights. But I’d be willing to put all that aside for a moment just to write my name in the dust on the surface of the moon… I think.

I wonder if they have pesto linguine on Shuttle missions..