Good morning fair reader. Some time ago, I sent out a mass-email;

In an attempt to allow others to know ME better, I have decided to put a post up on my blog with how others respond to the following question:

Jacob Sanford is __________________.

NO word limit. Please reply with your answers.

These were the responses I recieved. Hopefully these answers allow you some insight into the living legend of Jacob Sanford.

Jacob Sanford is :

  • Steve Miller 1979
  • a borderline psychotic
  • this century’s answer to the Drei-Kaiser-Bund
  • insane and has a mind that is perpetually off balance / in the gutter.
  • a HUGE supporter of French bistros and posh night clubs with dress codes.
  • the embodiment of earthly excess.
  • in no way related to Mike Sanford Photo
  • in reality actually Jacob Lewis Bourjaily Proof
  • easy.
  • the envy of all who meet him.
  • a vampire disguised as a werewolf.
  • drofnaS bocaJ spelled backwards.
  • better known as Pol Pot.
  • unable to sustain two erections at once.
  • a form of oral fixation.
  • not a communist (anymore).
  • pleasantly amused.
  • granite personified.
  • someone who is not afraid to defy the social norms. For example he has an uncanny ability to let loose the loudest farts in the presence of anyone. Better out than in, says I.
  • someone who straddles the line between genius and insanity every day of his life.

Feel free to E-Mail me with any further additions. This is a LIVING list.

Yowzas.