The Chairman

It’s September, the leaves are turning, and students are back at college campuses all around the country. This can mean only one thing - longer lines throughout the city.

Oh fair reader! I feel your pain! But do not fear - I am by now famous enough from this blog that people recognize my face and allow me to pass the front of most queues.

In fact, in the event of a nuclear war, I’m sure I’d be chosen for the fallout bunker with the leaders of the country. I can see the headlines now.

‘PERFECT HUMAN’ JAKE ALLOWED TO LIVE FOR
EARTH RE-POPULATION PURPOSES - CITIZENS REJOICE

I wonder if they have nachos in a nuclear shelter… perhaps with olives? I better get packing.