April 2006
Monthly Archive
General Issues25 Apr 2006 10:56 am
Violent Relapse Alert - Rabble from the Rabble
Being a former politics afficionado is somewhat like being a former drunk. To an alcoholic - one nip of the devil water and before you know it, you may be rolling in the ditch with an empty bottle of Cutty Sark. To a political junkie, reading a single news story may lead to a relapse of incomprehensible proportions.
This hypothetical situation came true today after reading an [sarcasm]unbiased[/sarcasm] piece on rabble.ca I have been spurred into an angry tornado of politics, and without calling my sponsor may relapse into the life of a political junkie again. This gem of a ’story’ features such exquisitely crafted passages as:
In contrast, Harper went to the trouble of sabotaging a very low-key publishing event — an almost pathological dedication to denying climate change. But the more disturbing strategy is avoiding the actual science. This hear-no-evil, see-no-evil approach is alive and well in Harper’s troubled mind.
After such a tempting passage, I must do something rash to to avert falling off the wagon into politicshood.
I have formulated a scientific theorem. It is called the Theorem of Hippie StankWriting. Created primarily for those uninterested in following daily news, it provides a method of quickly identifying ‘bandwagon journalism’ and avoiding ingesting it.
In a nutshell, it is based on a logarithmic scale with higher scores indicating greater likelihood of poor quality Journalism. The scoring system is complex, but as an example ,the following factors contribute to the total score:
| # of Points |
Identifying Factor |
| 5 |
Each occurrence beyond 3 uses of “George Bush”, “George W. Bush”, or “Stephen Harper” |
| 5 |
Any sort of all seeing ‘big brother’ reference, stated or implied. |
| 10 |
Mention of Haliburton. |
| 10 |
Beating the dead horse of the well-known relation between the Bin Laden family and powerful Texas Oil families. |
| 10 |
More than 3 references in the article to the Kyoto accord. |
| 15 |
Nicknaming places with greed-implied names - i.e. “Oilberta”. |
| 20 |
Any occurrence of the names “Bush” or “Harper” alone without any further clarification. |
| 20 |
Absurdly claiming ‘Bush’ or ‘Harper’ (see above for combo points) caused a local or state problem. i.e. ‘Bush caused the Brooklyn nursing home to use toxic cleaners - that’s who killed those geriatrics’ or ‘Harper caused my tire to go flat’. |
Again, this is only a sampling of all the factors used, but it certainly gives you an idea of the strength of my theorem. Look for it soon to be published in Science.
General Issues18 Apr 2006 09:38 am
The Scientist - Insight into Life etc.
Come up to meet you, Tell you I’m sorry, You don’t know how lovely you are
I had to find you, Tell you I need you, Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, And ask me your questions, Aww let’s go back to the start.
There seems to be quite the furor over the ‘meaning’ of the song on the internet. Some say it’s about a love - some say it’s about a career - I have another idea. I believe that the song The Scientist by Coldplay was written about me, Jacob Sanford, and my struggles through the PhD program. You may argue - and if pressed I will give supporting evidence - but for now it’s probably best if you accept what I have said as truth and move on.
And doing so (but keeping along the same lines) - I have only recently been realizing lately that soon enough when someone asks me I do, I may have to start considering “I’m a Scientist” as an answer. Without any doubt this response would evoke Ross Geller - a - la - ‘Friends’ dweebox sentiments on the part of the askee, but I suppose I have to begin to accept such this as part of life. I mean there could be worse answers to that question - “I’m Stephen Harper’s son” for example.
Whoah-Ho! I promised long ago that I’d keep politics out of this blog. And I will. From now on - I double promise.
General Issues13 Apr 2006 01:46 pm
The Journal of Animal Welfare
Animal Rights being one of my favorite topics, I was browsing the Journal of Animal Welfare this afternoon. I came up with the following ‘hot’ article
Immediate immobilization of a Minke whale using a grenade harpoon requires striking a restricted target area.
This commentary suggests that, when using the Norwegian penthrite grenade-tipped harpoon (’Whalegrenade-99′), it is necessary to hit a relatively well-defined target area in order to effect an immediately immobile, and presumed unconscious state in the Minke whale.
Animal Welfare (2006), 15, (1), 55-57
Obviously I’m doing my research in the wrong field. I could be improving the WHALEGRENADE-99 to better the world.
General Issues10 Apr 2006 11:17 am
Some Commentary on Photography
It’s hard to say why I like Portrait Photography beyond any other form.
I mean, I understand why - but as always it’s hard to put feelings into words. Ultimately I think it’s because in the grand scheme of time we are here for such a short period compared to everything else on earth that it makes more sense to produce images of ourselves. Portraits can convey feeling, mood, honesty - emotion in general.
Don’t get me wrong - some landscape photographs are beautiful. But to me, even the most gorgeous landscape could most times be made even better by including someone in it.
An analogy I could draw is that it’s akin to choosing to take a photograph of a dandelion instead of the ultra rare extinct butterfly that is sitting on it.
But hell, I’m crazy anyway. What are you listening to me for?
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