Rob just sent me this hilarious quote from wikipedia about Flavius Augustus Honorius, one of the later Roman emporers.
The most notable event of his reign was the assault and sack of Rome on August 24, 410 by the Visigoths under Alaric. The city had not been under the control of a foreign force since an invasion of Gallic Celts some seven centuries before. The shock of this event reverberated from Britain to Jerusalem, and inspired Augustine to write his magnum opus, The City of God.
There is a story (which Gibbon disbelieved) that when he heard the news that Rome had “perished”, Honorius was initially shocked; thinking the news was in reference to a favorite chicken he had named “Rome”, he recalled in disbelief that the bird was just recently feeding out of his hand. It was then explained to him that the Rome in question was the city.
I wonder if he was relieved when he found out it wasn’t his favorite chicken.
As I sit here and listen to Johnny Cash I can’t help but wonder if Starbucks Coffee is any good. I was up at Chapters but I can’t bring myself to get a $2 coffee when Tim’s is just down the mall and half as cheap. The workers look like they really don’t put their ‘heart’ into coffee.
Tonight I’m going to get some of the cooking done for ‘cooking with Jake’. Had the tomatoes sitting on my counter for ages. Last night Rob brought over a HOT Iron Chef tag team episode where two Italian brothers cooked against two iron chefs.
I’d also like to announce the JACOBSANFORD.COM DIGITAL PHOTO PRINTING SHOOTOUT where all the photo labs compete for my continued business. Send each lab 24 pictures (8 from 3 types of cameras) and have independant judges score the results.
Black’s Photo
Appleby’s Color Lab
Harvey Photo
Wal-Mart
Jake
and finally a ’special’ competitor:
Prism Photo from BC.
They claim to have the top equipment in the continent. Let’s see. Who wants to be a judge?
You know, It’s no secret that I am socially liberal and fiscally conservative. I support gay marriage and the axeing of most social programs. An odd mix but then again nobody ever said I was normal.
But the one thing I dislike more than social Right Wing extremists is blind Left Wing ‘activists’.
Shocked? This is why:
It has become trendy to hate George Bush now. T shirts with FSCK BUSH, books focusing on how much of a boob he is, hippies organizing anti-bush protests so they can smoke weed in public places. I put forward the notion that the majority of these ‘activists’ couldn’t tell you the difference between the senate, congress, or the house or representatives (Or which two of those are the same thing).
If you listen to the left wing, George Bush has caused everything wrong in the last 5 years. Your company’s pension gone broke? George Bush did it. Timothy Leary book sold out at Waldenbooks? George Bush banned it. Cable Internet slow tonight? George Bush is somehow involved. Krisy Kreme out of donuts? Tom Delay’s head should roll.
People take in small facts about companies like Haliburton and regurgitate them in a tirade against the Republicans. They spit out stale accusations such as ‘’THE BUSHES DID BUSINESS WITH BIN LADEN’. ‘THE CIA FUNDED SADDAM’.’ RAMBO FOUGHT WITH AL QUEDA’- no kidding, is this new news to you? Guess you weren’t keeping up during the 80’sand 90’s, eh? American foreign policy has been a mess since Reagan.
Michael Moore. This guy is NOT the champion that the left needs. He is a shock-journalism boob who knows how to make money. People nowadays want to hear from an ‘outlaw’ journalist and he provides the product and cashes in big time. He provides as many half-truths as the right wingers do, but people listen,believe and quote him like he’s Jesus Christ reborn.
My real pet peeve is Personal Freedoms. Very few blind lefties seem concerned with the general flushing of civil liberties that is occuring with each ‘anti-terror’ bill that passes. Very few even bothered to protest the new 2257 laws. No hidden agenda there, don’t worry.
Fox News. The left whines and complains about how biased Fox News is. It’s no secret. What was your first clue? Why are you shocked each time when Ann Coulter says something even more ignorant and Right-Wingish? It’s how they get viewers. Plain and simple.
Ok I could rant forever, but you get the idea. Mabye someday the left will get a voice that I’ll be proud to support. Not this current murmuring of boobs with no clear focus.
To me it’s kind of like the boy who cried wolf. After such varied claims and a generally ignorant anti-right populous it’s hard for me to swallow it all.
Mabye 5 years ago.
I simply have a hard time giving credibility to anyone spouting general, unsupported anti-right rhetoric. They ARE the new hippies, mannnnnnnnnnnnnn.
As I sit here and write up a report for work, I have had a flashback to the time in first year Psychology when I had a small (1000 word) essay worth 5% of my class mark due. I cannot recall the topic.
As usual my general hatred of deadlines shone through nicely, and I failed to set aside any time to work on the essay prior to the night before. When the time came to sit down and write it, I simply slapped a large amount of nonsense on the PC screen while continually hitting the ‘word count’ button to monitor my progress. There was no structure to the essay nor did it have a coherent theme.
What I did do, however, was make liberal use of the thesaurus funciton on the word processor. Ordinary words such as ’sad’ were instantly transposed into exciting adjectives such as ‘morose’. No new word was ever used twice.
Feeling satisfied that I had accomplished a ‘B-’ essay and wanting a sandwich I printed the composition off and called it a night. I asked a fellow classmate to submit it the next day while I worked on another impending assignment for Chemistry class.
I thought nothing about it further, until the next week when the professor asked ‘Is Jacob Sanford here today?’ at the end of a lecture. I confirmed, and was asked to stay after class.
Being singled out in a class of 300+ is certainly a worrysome prospect - I figured the jig was up and she had noticed my essay being passed in by another student. ‘No big deal’, I thought, ‘express my apologies and get out asap’.
After the class had emptied, the following dialogue occured:
Professor:
‘Jacob, I asked you to stay due to the essay you wrote last week’.
Our Hero:
‘Yes’
Professor:
‘Jacob, I marked the essay and it was very well done. So well done in fact that I have my suspicions that it wasn’t your work - it certainly is NOT at the level of writing of a first year student. I searched on the internet for some phrases you used but nothing came up’.
Our Hero:
‘…..’
Professor:
‘Did you write the essay yourself? Did you plagarize from any sources? If you did, please admit it and you have my word that I’ll let you off with a warning.. This time.’
Our Hero:
‘I did not. I threw it together the night before.’
Professor:
‘Oh.. Have you ever considered furthering your studies in psychology?’
Our Hero:
‘ Not really, I want to apply to med school next year (This was true at the time… very disturbing)’
Professor:
‘That’s a great career. Well thanks, I just wanted to talk to you about the essay.’
She then handed me the essay with an ‘A+?’ on it. To quote the late doctor - The question mark was emphasized.
I will never understand what strange powers must have come together that night I crammed those words into an ‘essay’, since my writing is poor and my diction is generally even worse. I would like to think that the thesaurus had something to do with it, although further attempts via that method were met with failure.. and deservedly so.
It’s hard to believe I can recall that story but cannot remember how I got to work today.
